Often I get bored of writing to myself and will start to write letters to others. These letters are rarely delivered, but are useful for several reasons.
1) It lets me trick myself into thinking that other people might be interested/obligated to listen to my thoughts.
2) Forces me to ‘slow my roll’ at least a bit for clarity/a stab at normalcy.
3)Provides a more socially acceptable answer to “What are you writing?” People generally understand – or at least have a distant memory of – the fact that correspondence can be handwritten and on paper. Broad, vague “Writing” can be a confusing answer, but “writing a letter” will be let slide. Oh, and grocery lists. People always understand the need to write a grocery list.
Anyway, in lieu of an actual blog update about anything interesting, I’m going to retype a letter I wrote on the way back from Peru. Obviously most of my letters are self centered and focus primarily on my fascinating thoughts and actions, but in this case I’ve also edited the bits that might refer to the imagined receipent, who will now certainly never receive the letter.
“Hello.
I am so annoyed right now. So much so that I’m not even using my correct pen because even that is pissing me off. Part caused because I hate leaving and I’m leaving Peru right now, and actually that’s only the first, or really not even first, in a string of leavings I will be doing these next few weeks. Sometimes it feels like life is just a long line of leavings and goodbyes. I guess also comings and hellos, but I’m being negative right now, ok? And I’m stuck on a plane next to an agressive abuela who keeps elbowing me off the arm rest. And I’m thirsty but they threw my water away. Since when can’t you bring water on a plane? I bought it after security but before boarding but they patted us down and searched our luggageg again. What they should be worried about is the untreated wood insence I’m bringing back for x. Probably it’s extra security since we’re flying to the glorious US of A. I had to get out dollars to pay the airport tax and I was grossed out by them. And by how much everything costs all the sudden. And the first time through security they opened up another lane so I ducked under those elastic belt rope things to get to the front of the line but they made me go back to the end of my line because the new line was only for national flights. When I was waiting to check in the drug dog got in a fight with a little purse dog and a kid got scared and spilled 1000 legos. Those things did not annoy me.
But no one told me I was supposed to keep this card they gave me when I flew into Peru and I had to get in a different line and pay 5$ to get a new one even though I think I probably have it in my backpack but if I unpacked my pack I’d likely cause several deaths from the stench of my hiking boots and probably never get it closed again.
I barely got any sleep last night because my phone is dead and I had no alarming time keeping device so I just slept with my light on and woke up every 30 minutes so I wouldn’t oversleep. But somehow I managed to have really terrible dreams and you were in it and sister, but that wasn’t part of the terrible. I messed up the sodoku in hte newspaper so I tried to write it in my notebook so I could do it right but I couldn’t satisfactorily draw the board and ended up tearing out three pages and that made me even more mad so I gave up. Also, cereal. I miss it.
My “window seat” doesn’t even have a window that’s really mine. It’s too far in front of me and I just have a huuuge plane wall next to me. I should probably use it to sleep on so maybe I’ll wake up less grumpy. I think abuela is stealing a better seat.
Ok, I found tetris on the in flight games and life has exponentially improved. I wonder how many days of my life I have spent playing tetirs. I used to be able to play just closing my eyes I imagined the pieces but I would make it difficult. That is not one of the weirder things I’ve done. What is your favorite tetris piece? If I had a stopwatch and a seat by the bathroom I think it would be funny to super obviously time everyone who went in and out and then record it with a knowing look in a official looking notebook. Alli and I are going to start giving seminars on Queso Awareness. That’s actually more funny in person, so you’ll have to wait to hear that story. They just came by with the Duty Free cart and I thought about asking “Oh, is that a special new toilet paper?” Come on.. that one’s funny right? I made a joke when we were climbing Wayna Picchu: “Well, we could climb up those rocks or use this (motioning at a ladder) but I prefer the latter.” But no one really laughed. I think it was a language problem. They should have vending machines on planes.”
And that was the end. Aren’t you jealous I don’t send you letters?
And instead of pictures, a fabulous song about cameras.. kind of.
